Tuesday, November 09, 2004

I'm really sorry.

Ok, so I hadn't written anything in 3 days. Today, struggling with writer's block, no inspiration and the fact that I was listening to Delta Goodrem's album at the time, it kind of took a brand new twist:

She parked the car, locked it in the garage, and walked up to her front door. Oscar was standing there.

"Wash Hog?!" Jess exclaimed.

'A new beginning, a new chapter of my life, started the day, I thought, it could be my last. OUT OF THE BLUE - there I found you, show me your life, I can’t see without you.' Delta Goodrem started singing. Jess really liked her new album, and she thought that the lyrics to 'Out Of The Blue' really fitted her first meeting with Oscar.

Do you know what else they fitted? The alien invasion that was currently taking place. Within seconds, Jess and Oscar were dead, having been eaten by them.

Now, we hear their side of the story.

Seriously, aliens were the only way this story was going to be saved. Just have all the main characters eaten by them and then start again.

Monday, November 08, 2004


I went for my interview today. And it went really well!! Yay! Di Morrissy said I was a good writer! Eeee!

I don't want to count my chickens before they have hatched though. But I am pretty hopeful.

Friday, November 05, 2004

Carrot Mechanics

In the show within the novel, I've accidentally made 'Stuart' obsessed with carrots. I think it's because 'Carrot' is 'Car' but with a 'rot' on the end.

Carrot excerpts so far:

' Especially at Blake’s one rather confusing scene where he went into great detail about how peeling carrots was a bit like driving a car, which was also a bit like life.'

'He shot the offending laughers a look. No one had laughed at his excellent carrot jokes.'

'His character Stuart has all the charisma of a carrot (a food he seems strangely fond of)'

' "Peeling carrots", Stuart said, "is a lot like riding a bike".

"Didn't’ he say this last week?" Pete asked.

"No...that was driving a car" '

'Just then the director called out, "Blake! We'’re shooting the carrot scene now!" '

I really didn't MEAN to do it. But now it's become a sort of running 'joke'.

It really is all slowly turning to shit.


Wednesday, November 03, 2004


Day: 3
Word Count: 6339

Today's problems:
  • Slowing down too much
  • Writer's block

    Today's good things:
  • I LOVE my novel. No seriously, I am like very much in awe of my own genius at the moment. I have hit a slight rough patch, but it's still going really well
  • I love my main character. He is so awesome.

    Brief Excerpt:
    Then it was back on.

    Stuart looked at Lucy standing over a pot of pasta. "Well, if that's how you feel about it, I'll show you! I am going to cook up a storm, and bake myself up a slice of success!"

    'There’s a lot of these sort of food metaphors' Oscar said.

    I'm really making Stu out to be the bad guy in the story too. I have really turned on him lately.
  • Tuesday, November 02, 2004

    Updated Character and Story Direction

    - Jess is a corrupt TV writer who hates Australian TV productions
    - Oscar and Blake are two actors in a local TV show who's careers she is out to destroy
    - Shannon has nothing to do with TV except for the fact that she hates it

    Oscar and Blake can't stand each other, Jess and Shannon are sisters who haven't spoken in years. They ALL hate each other, basically.

    Yet somehow...they will have to combine...for something that I am guessing will be some sort of quest. Haven't totally worked it out yet, but it's becoming clearer.


    Day: 2
    Word Count: 4661

    Today's Issues:
  • Too many character names to remember. I've had to get out a whiteboard to write them all down so I don't have to keep scrolling up to check what I called someone. There's not only the characters in the novel, but the names of the characters they play in the TV show
  • Too much boring dialogue, I think. And it's getting a little serious

    Story summary so far, in dot points:
  • Oscar loves Michael J Fox
  • Oscar lands the role of Wash Hog in The Kitchen
  • Oscar and Stu Blake have coffee (exciting!)
  • Oscar watches a repeat of 'Undercover Pilots'
  • Jess accidentally prints the wrong week's TV guide
  • Jess has to answer to the producer she accepted the bribe from, as to where the review is
  • The other reviews of The Kitchen start appearing. The are all terrible
  • The cast and crew have a launch party. Oscar is not invited

    Brief Excerpt:
    Down the other end of the road, at the same moment in time, Oscar was preparing for his own private launch party. He was well aware that he was'’t invited to the one at Blake’s house. He had asked if he could come, when he accidentally found out about it, but Blake had blatantly told him no. But it's alright, Oscar had some of his own friends, and fellow members of his 'Back To The Future' Fan club (he was the vice-president...even though he started it) over for some festivities.

    How sad is it that Oscar is now partly based on me? Starting his own fanclub, etc.
  • Monday, November 01, 2004


    Hours of November passed: 15
    Word Count: 2884

    Current Issues:
  • I've inadvertently created a fourth major character, Blake. Who is basically Blair/Stu. Which means the two lead male characters at the moment are basically Dishpig and Stu. I am going to TRY and relegate Blake back into a minor character though

  • I've become totally obsessed with this thing.

    Short Excerpt:
    The flaws of the show were clear to see, even for Oscar. It was hard for pilots to BE undercover cops. A plane is just not a great crime solving location. Especially as all of the crimes had to be taking place on the planes...that'’s the only way that the pilots could investigate them. Added to that, most of the time they had to be preoccupied with actually flying the plane. Though every now and again they would come out of the cock pit and pretend to be interested in buying some drugs. The basic concept of the show was that ‘"Everyone trusts a pilot’". That’s why they made such effective aliases for undercover detectives.

    'Undercover Pilots' is the show Blake starred in before The Kitchen. Oscar is watching a repeat of it on TV. Oscar and Blake are sort of friends, but also kind of hate each other.

    And that's pretty much it thus far.
  • New Developments

    There's now a new character, an actor called Blake McDonald. He plays a TV character called Stuart, of course.

    I also think the character based on 'me' will be involved with someone called Adam Camerons.

    Meanwhile...I am worried that the whole thing is too much 'comedy'. It's all highly ridiculous.


    Hours Of November Lapsed: 2
    Words Written: 1058
    Story So Far:
    Just establishing the character of Oscar. How he got the part of Wash Hog, that his hero is Michael J Fox, etc.
    Problems So Far:
  • Trying not to refer to Wash Hog as Dish Pig
  • How many Michael J Fox references is it acceptable to have? Do I have too many, or not enough?
    Very Brief Excerpt:
    Oscar had previously landed a few roles in commercials, and a bit part in a mini-series once about a man who thought his dead wife had been reincarnated as a tram (Married To A Trolly) but this was so much bigger. A leading role in a prime time drama! Well...not quite a leading role, and not quite prime time...but, still - this was huge.

    I WISH I could post the whole thing, I really do. I can email a copy if anyone wants to read it though (especially you Jess). But we can't go getting silly about it.

    Otherwise, it's all going quite well. Yay!
  • Sunday, October 31, 2004

    With three hours to go... is the...


    Jess, Shannon and Oscar are three people brought together because of a
    failing TV show.

    There's Oscar, one of the stars of the show who's career is in serious
    trouble. The Kitchens was his shot at the big time, and now that it's
    in danger of being pulled off air he is on a personal mission to save

    Jess is a journalist for the city's largest newspaper, who has been
    paid off to write a bad review for the show by a producer from a rival
    network of The Kitchen's. She gladly accepts the payout and writes a
    derogatory review and cover story for the paper's weekly TV lift out.

    Oscar, furious, and masquerading as a 'fan' writes in a letter
    defending the show. Jess reads it and cottons on to the fact that the
    letter must come from someone involved with the show. When she prints
    the letter and a sarcastic reply, Oscar gets even angrier and tracks
    her down.

    Meanwhile, Shannon, a peace loving hippy from across town, is
    launching a protest against The Kitchens, trying to get production
    shut down because it is causing environmental destruction to the local
    beach. Oscar, on his way to filming one morning, runs into Shannon,
    who will not let him pass the picket line. Having just read Jess'
    latest column, and on the verge of losing it all together, he yells at
    her 'What are you two, related??"

    Shannon does not know to whom he is referring, but in actual fact –
    yes! The two ARE related. Jess and Shannon are sisters, but haven't
    really spoken to each other in years, since a falling out over the
    Blur Vs Oasis feud.

    But now that Brit Pop is dead, and with a maniacal television actor
    after the both of them, Shannon and Jess will reunite to fight against
    locally produced television drama.

    Along the way the three will deal with love, drama, intrigue, ratings
    and a never ending stream of inevitable wacky hi-jinks.